"The E-Mail Trail"

© 1999
J. Mitch Hopper


This comes from the all-too-serious Dilbert world. Corporate America is not necessarily a nice place. In this unique work of fiction, a tale is told of the evil done to subordinates by their supervisors... through their e-mail! Here is just a taste!

Message #37424: Wednesday, 09/16/98, 9:04:42 am - sys-mail Enodyne Inc. - External
From: Harvey Jacobs / Engineering (h.jacobs@mail.enodyne.com)
To: Ray Dillon / Peoria Archives (r.dillon@mail.enodyne-peoria.com)
Subject: 1600 notes - where are they?

Ray, I should have responded last (whenever it was) when you e-mailed me but things were hectic, and frankly I thought your message was... well, I didn't know what your message was. Sorry about that.

Where can I find your notes and engineering data from testing on the 1600. I've not been able to find them and now I'm afraid to ask Mr. Sarkisian. It seems that he thinks I have already reviewed them. I'm really on the spot. I've opened the Med-Tech 1600 to the public and now, if I can't find your notes, I'm in the soup! Help!

End message / 37424


Message #37499: Wednesday, 09/16/98, 5:21:38 pm - sys-mail Enodyne Inc. - External
From: Ray Dillon / Peoria Archives (r.dillon@mail.enodyne-peoria.com)
To: Harvey Jacobs / Engineering (h.jacobs@mail.enodyne.com)
Subject: Yer fucked!

You poor shit! I have been working to kill the release of the 1600 for over six months. All it got me was a transfer here! I'm sorting twenty year old paper and watching my resume rot. Here's the scoop - ready for this? I couldn't finish the project. With the present component stocks, we can't make the product with any expectation of quality and Enodyne makes the stocks! Get it? The parts dedicated to construction are ours and don't make spec - by a long shot. The top brass has no intention of using stock from outside contractors - that would cut into the already slim profit. The product will certainly be a liability. Testing showed at least seven failure modes and it is going to be used in a medical environment???? I don't think so!! If nothing has changed, going into production the way it is will keep the litigation lawyers fat for years! We can't make spec without re-designing the whole bloody thing!

Ha ha ha - You're in the soup now! Consider yourself coal for the Enodyne furnace. That happens a lot here, but my guess is that you might already know that by now.

I've gotten a nibble with the Hewlett Packard shop in Chicago, so I'm outta' here ASAP - and that's not fast enough for me. Good luck - you'll need it!

End message / 37499


Message #37502: Wednesday, 09/16/98, 5:28:18 pm - sys-mail Enodyne Inc. - Internal
From: Don Pavlic / Security (d.pavlic@mail.enodyne.com)
To: Alex Sarkisian / Project Manager (a.sarkisian@mail.enodyne.com)
CC: Jack Parker / Personnel (j.parker@mail.enodyne.com)
Subject: FYI - e-mail intercepted

Ray Dillon and Harvey Jacobs are talking. Transcripts of the e-mail messages are attached. You should have a look at the text.

Please advise.

End message / 37502


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